The Twelve Gifts of Relocation
(sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)
The first gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
An $89. futon but no TV.
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The second gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but no TV.
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The third gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but no TV.
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The fourth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
The fifth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV table,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The sixth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The seventh gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The eighth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Eight hundred bills a-piling,
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The ninth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Nine flower pots in storage,
Eight hundred bills a-piling,
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV table,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The tenth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Ten nervous breakdowns,
Nine flower pots in storage,
Eight hundred bills a-piling,
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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The eleventh gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Eleven crates in warehouse waiting,
Ten nervous breakdowns,
Nine flower pots in storage,
Eight hundred bills a-piling,
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon but No T.V.
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For the twelfth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Twelve pounds worth of stress-eating,
Eleven crates in warehouse waiting,
Ten nervous breakdowns,
Nine flower pots in storage,
Eight hundred bills a-piling,
Seven plastic cups all a-matching,
Six cheap towels a-scratching,
Five DVDs,
Four weeks without cable,
Three crappy TV tables,
Two Walmart lamps,
And an $89. futon and still No T.V.