Twelve Gifts ...

 

The Twelve Gifts of Relocation

(sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

The first gift of Relocation,
  My new life brought to me
  An $89. futon but no TV.
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The second gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
  Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but no TV.

-
The third gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me
Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but no TV.

-
The fourth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

The fifth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV table,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The sixth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me

Six cheap towels  a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The seventh gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The eighth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me

Eight  hundred bills a-piling,

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The ninth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Nine  flower pots in storage,

Eight  hundred bills a-piling,

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four  weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV table,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The tenth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Ten  nervous breakdowns,

Nine  flower pots in storage,

Eight  hundred bills a-piling,

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four  weeks without cable

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

The eleventh gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Eleven  crates in warehouse waiting,

Ten nervous breakdowns,

Nine  flower pots in storage,

Eight  hundred bills a-piling,

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon but No T.V.

-

For the twelfth gift of Relocation,
My new life brought to me 

Twelve pounds worth of stress-eating,

Eleven  crates in warehouse waiting,

Ten  nervous breakdowns,

Nine  flower pots in storage,

Eight  hundred bills a-piling,

Seven  plastic cups all a-matching,

Six cheap towels a-scratching,

Five DVDs,

Four weeks without cable,

Three crappy TV tables,

Two Walmart lamps,

And an $89. futon and still No T.V.