03 February 2014

WordGirl ...

via: www.sublackwell.co.uk/
Some girls are smart girls, some are athletic, tomboys and some are even pretty girly girls but I am none of these - I am a WordGirl. 

I am not a smartypants wordgirl or a writer type of wordgirl - I just love words.  

 All of them, even the bad curse words - they come in handy sometimes! 

I especially love the written word.

However you assemble them - poems, prose, quotes, novels, shopping lists, love letters, journals, diaries, newspapers, biographies, dissertations, etc  - I love them all. 

I love stories.

I guess I might be a StoryBook Girl too!

I love that no story written down is ever simply put - it is, for me, never a straight line.  

Human thought is probably one of the most malleable elements on earth and when thoughts are strung together to become a set or collection of thoughts, those words can be formed, or formatted into a dense collection of ideas - love that.

To me, reading a book/story/tale is akin to crafting beautiful storybook origami.  

via: www.sublackwell.co.uk
Each fine line of a good book is like the precise fold of an origami piece, crisp, purposeful, yet random until it is surrounded by all the many folds.

Likewise, uncovering the truth of a story -  your truth of the story is, for me, like fumbling around in the dark until every thought that lurks between each line or is disguised behind some carefully chosen word is brought to light and refolded into a coherent whole.  

And as with all art, I love that we each bring our own meaning & truth into it - that it is mine, I own it because no one will see or read exactly what I have seen or read.

I love that about words ...

I love words and the prayers they allow me to whisper.

I love unspoken words and the promises that they allow me to keep.

via: www.sublackwell.co.uk

Words have always gotten me from here to there and have rarely failed me until now - now they often seem to linger a little too long on the tip of my tongue.  They betray me and stick in my throat - I sometimes feel that I am choking on my own words.   

MS has sent my words orbiting around my brain, drifting aimlessly like useless satellites lost in space - creating signals that never quite make contact.

Once a chatterbox, now just an awkward silence. 

Once an avid, skilled reader, now a shy, clumsy one. one who struggles to remember plot lines and seldom seen characters. 

I recently realized that I had, without thinking, sat a book down once upon a time and never picked it up again.

I had quietly given up, I had just quit.

And why?   Pride, self-pity, disappointment, depression, whatever the reason - it doesn't matter because whatever you call it - quitting is a sad & empty waste of a life - it is the VERY opposite of THRIVING.  

It is giving up and giving control to MS  -  it is letting MS win and I WILL NOT DO That!

All I know for certain is that I hate my fuzzy brain.  I HATE like hell that I can't absorb, process, retain & recall information the way I know I once could.  

via: www.sublackwell.co.uk

But, out goes.the.pity.party - gone with the trash because this is my year to 'thrive', to flourish, to grow & prosper - quitting is simply not an option. 

I will not go down gracefully or without a fight.
I will not give in and I will not give up.

MS cannot be overcome but it can be met head-on and on my terms. 

I still love words and I miss them.  

Sometimes I may need to read each page more than twice, sometimes even more than that just to bring the story back to mind.  To give it life again.  Rereading previously reread pages will not be uncommon but so what! Who cares!  

A well-written book deserves a second look - right!

I am not sure where MS is planning to take me but this much I do know for sure - in order for me to thrive, to really thrive I must stay true to who I am, and who I am is someone who loves words/books. 

And so I begin reading again and in honor of new beginnings I have decided to do something completely new with an old love, something I've never, ever, ever done before. 

 I will begin by re-reading my all-time favorite book.

And it begins ... 
Chapter 1, Page 1  The line outside Madison Square Garden started to form at 5:30 p.m., just as an orange autumn sun was setting in New York City on Halloween Eve, 1912.  The doors were not ...


A single word, a feeling.   
My favorite single word is:

A few words strung together in a line, become a thought. 
My favorite quote is:
Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. - L. M. Montgomery -

Many words woven together, become a story.
My favorite book is:  

The River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevel

t's DarkestJourney - Candice Millard

James Michener

I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life
- N -
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