- Tradition -

Every year for Christmas since I was a young child - my Dad would always buy each of us a box of Purdy's Chocolates.   A whole box was and is a very expensive extravagance, especially when we were younger.  

I loved getting these very yummy chocolates even after I grew up and grew a little too chubby.  I cherished these chocolates growing up because it was one of the ways I always knew just how much my DaD loved me.  Time was extremely valuable to my DaD - on a farm everything is time sensitive and there was never, ever enough of it.  My DaD usually worked 7 days a week, 12 - 14 hours a day.  So taking time off at Christmas (albeit, the slowest time of the year farming) was big, really BIG.  

I remember, he would get all dressed up in his 'regular' clothes and go off by himself for the day ... shopping and not a the Co-op either, he would go to the big mall.  My DaD always selected a special gift each of us a and it was just from HIM and it came with a box of chocolates - Purdy's Chocolates.    

I don't remember every gift he ever bought me but I do remember he did something special for me every Christmas and that special feeling comes back to me whenever I open a box of Purdy's.

Purdy's under the tree at Christmas, was and is, for me, the most enduring and endearing Christmas tradition I have - it is a reminder of my past. I was so touched & surprised to find a box of Purdy's with my name on it under the Christmas tree this year - Mike had had them shipped down from Canada for me and this simple box of chocolates helped bring my Mom and my Dad home to me for Christmas. 

I love you Mike 

.......

I love this crazy, tragic,

Sometimes almost magic,

Awful, beautiful life

.......

- N -

- Dad -

- Not your average Hallmark Birthday card -

My father was not a calm, quiet man, he was more of a category 5 - powerful, fierce & frightening - within seconds he could destroy the landscape of my world and with a single word he could (and did) destroy parts of me that can never be repaired.

But, he loved me with that same intensity, strength and unconditional force - I have never once doubted that fact.

The fury with which my Dad approached everything in his life created a dichotomy of emotions in me that, to this day, still confuse, torment & haunt me. 

Fear, admiration, LOVE, hate, respect, dread - but throughout it all I have loved him without hesitation. He was and is the most enduring benchmark in my life.

My Dad is still here with us but yet in almost everyway that matters ..... he is not. I miss the Dad I loved, respected and admired, I miss him very much.

Happy 82nd Birthday DaD
I love you

.......

I love this crazy, tragic,

Sometimes almost magic,

Awful, beautiful life

.......

- N -