21 August 2014

- let it go -




I let something go last night 
that had been weighing heavy on my mind 
for many years ...
eating away at my heart & soul.

My goal this year is to THRIVE and I have come to realize that it is not possible to thrive in your own life until, like a snake, you shed your old skin, 
so you can begin anew.

I think sometimes I hold on to things for fear of giving away or losing something, becoming less than I was but, in reality, finding the peace & strength to 'let go'  has allowed me to become so much more!

Inner peace is like a whisper, it takes up no room in your heart or soul. 
Late last night I finally whispered the word

- Forgive -






"I let it go.
It's like swimming against the current.
It exhausts you. 
After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go,
and the river brings you home.”



― Joanne Harris -
 Five Quarters of the Orange


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 .N.
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07 August 2014

- Belated Joy -


Oh my, this was a post I wrote back in March 2014 and never posted - better late than never right!

March: 2014

Sometimes the best Birthday gift of all doesn't come wrapped in shiny paper or tucked inside a card.  It doesn't come with a cake, candles or song - it just arrived one morning, a simple message in the Primary folder of my gmail box. 

Nothing of note or exception, just an email, an ordinary email ...

Here is my response to that email ...

Dear friend, 

I can't tell you how happy & excited I was the other day when I opened my gmailbox & saw you name listed in the unread mail column - it is such a joyful & happy feeling to know that I was in your thoughts & memories today.

 -  What a wonderful Birthday Surprise - 

I love hearing from you & as I read and then reread your eletter I was struck by the fact that we have now, somehow, reached the age where talk of 'hip replacement surgery' has crept into our conversation and it isn't an update on our grandparents or even our parents health!   

This startles me for a moment and I think, yes we are older but so what!  With age comes wisdom - and at worst we are now just wise old women with aging knees, slightly bent backs & graying hair but we are still here!

We are here despite all that life has thrown at us and while nature works tirelessly in the background to blur & muddy our memories , I struggle to remember my youth, my Canada days and our friendship.  Your friendship is a welcome & enduring tether to my past.  

While we write today of children never met, homes never visited  and of lives never seen we do so with the familiarity & ease that only old friends can know.  A letter from you opens a lifetime of memories; plum wine, crocheted vests, elephant pants, 1st loves, and many hours of chatting on phone -bike rides, car rides, bus trips & ski trips.   

And with that in mind my dear old friend, I refuse to think of us as old, we are timeless -you will always be forever young to me, in part I think, because while our friendship arcs across my entire life-story it no longer involves the wear & tear of everyday life.  I  now see you mainly through the lens of long ago or far away and I think that it is a wonderful thing, albeit wrapped in a lonely sadness at the same time. 

So thank you for the birthday wishes and the years of friendship and know that even though we now smile on what we once smirked at; senior discounts, comfortable shoes, conveniently located restrooms you will always and forever be a young girl, a teenager, a friend for life in my eyes.

Thanks for the wonderful birthday gift & Happy BDay to you as well

.......
I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life
.......

- N -
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06 August 2014

- Today I fell love again -







I
 borrowed these words
because someone else's head 
thought
exactly what my own heart
 felt
about my love
today




... two decades of marriage and learning to appreciate your spouse in more ways every day. The scales have decidedly tipped towards loving all that you have together versus lamenting everything you don't. 
The ability to have entire conversations through a single raised eyebrow across the dinner table, without ever opening your mouth is one of the coolest, sexiest things about being together for so long.
- Emily Mendell -




I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life
- DARRYL WORLEY -

- N -
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04 August 2014

Today I am a Gardener



I got up very early this morning so I could work in the garden in the stillness of the morning -just beyond twilight. 



I love my alone time out in the garden - just me & my peeps..


A bit of planting, weeding & watering and I spent a bit of coffee time alone with my thoughts.


I enjoy the last cool breath of the night before the sun wakes up and I must run inside and hide from the heat of it.


 Somedays I think I should start gardening with a flashlight so I can get more done before the sun rises but that's just silly  ...



.......
I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life
.......

- N -


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