24 June 2015

life files

life files
from my typewriter files
june 24 2015
1. Family
2. Home
3. Garden
from my garden files
my 'new' red barn
from my heart
my {heart} is missing it's other half
come home soon

from my TV
right now my tv's loving:
1. game of thrones
2. true detective
3. whispering pines
4. when calls the heart
5. any documentary: last  watched: 
Always Faithful: Military Dogs in Iraq
from my junkin' files
love, love, love
this old (1959) framed wall map
(it's huge)
i found junkin' on saturday at an estate sale for $5 
I love that it's previous owner 
used orange push pins 
to show the trail of his life
we will continue this map's tradition
and add to it - our own life trails 
 his = black 
mine = green 
from my 'childhood' files 
i love my mother beyond words but
i can clearly trace
every fear i have in life 
back to her irrational fears 
that one of her children 
would die or leave:
Here's my top 10 list

choking - grapes, peanuts, fish bones, marshmallows etc
standing or sitting too close to the edge of anything
heights: (see above)
cars - esp. driving too fast around corners
machinery - operating or standing too near 
 (anything from a lawn mowers, tractors, weed eaters,blenders, etc)
knives: sharp knives, dull knives or butter knives
drowning: oceans, swimming pools or buckets of water
big animals or animals with teeth: horses, cows, dogs or enclosed zoo animals 
getting lost: although we did walk over a mile to get to school and crossed a busy hwy?
growing up & leaving: moving: far away from her
some of these fears were actively reinforced
 some were learned through association
and yes
i did pass 
a few of her fears & 'concerns'
along to my own kids
what can i say
i am a 
'safety mom'
and I
learned from the


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garden thoughts ...

'I sit in my garden, gazing upon a beauty that cannot gaze upon itself. And I find sufficient purpose for my day.'
- Robert Brault -