08 April 2016

my constant grief

                                       
    
April 9th
my day of constant grief
it is, I have decided,  just luck
it is not destiny, not a gift
or divine intervention
i was just lucky

some are
some aren't
and like most things in life
it just is what it is

for some
grief comes much too early
and stains their life 
forever a dingy white

for me
it came later in life
but still,  i was not prepared
and it was, what it was
i could not change it

death came - into my life
cloaked in hushed voices
 lowlights & soft touches
a last breath, 
exhaled
 over a sea of grief

 there was no lifeboat,
no anchor or mainstay
and no chart 
to see me safely through 

'hold tight', i whispered
as grief's savage waves & fury 
tossed me about
alone, lost in a sea of grief
suspended
on the edge of time

was it for a second, a minute,
an eternity, i do not know
but now,  a familiar state of emptiness
our grief - has become my familiar
and even as the harsh waves abate 
and even as my grief finally settles
it is still near
It is always
my constant companion
.....

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garden thoughts ...


'I sit in my garden, gazing upon a beauty that cannot gaze upon itself. And I find sufficient purpose for my day.'
- Robert Brault -